Tag Archives: whoopi goldberg

23 Reasons to Love My Readers

Today on Alphabet City: As the countdown to the new Poptimistic blog begins, Jon Paul looks back at the 23 Most Popular Alphabet City Posts of 2010.

Thank you to the thousands of readers from around the globe who have spent time in Alphabet City.  You’re a diverse bunch with varied tastes—from eco-friendly travel to gay hook-up apps—there’s been a little bit of something for everyone in 2010.  And you’re always surprising me—I mean who knew there were so many Glee fans in Brunei?  In case you’ve missed some of the favorites, I’ve pulled together the Top 23 for you—a little primer on what your fellow Alphabet Citizens have enjoyed.  Why 23?  Because it’s a funny number.  Let me know—did your favorites make the cut?

#1 40, Love: Glee Bargain I’d like to think that my take on Fox TV’s hit show Glee and the producer’s difficulty in portraying Kurt in a more realistic light hit a nerve with the blog-o-sphere.  But judging from the Google searches that linked to the post, I honestly think folks were searching for pictures of cute gay high school student Blaine.  Maybe a channel dedicated to my thoughts on the show is in order?  I think I’d call it KurtiousGLEE.

#2 40, Love: Hello, Meat Grindr No surprise that sex sells, especially to gay boys on the prowl.  My humorous take using the hook-up site during jury duty is one of ABCityblog’s perennial favorites.

A chance encounter with photographer Jamie Beck lead to my favorite Alphabet City publicity shot!

#3 BizSavvyBlogger’s Peek-A-Blog: From Me To You Out of a chance encounter in the blogosphere—courtesy of Whole Foods—blossomed a fun friendship with phenomenal photographer.  The result has been spectacular pictures of me, Chef and our home.  This post gives a peek behind her stylish blog.

#4 Alphabet City’s Episode 1: Whoopi A crazy cat and a mishap with her Oscar, make my encounter with Whoopi a perennial favorite—and the perfect opening to Alphabet City.

#5 BizSavvyBlogger’s Peek-A-Blog: PerrinPost.truth.travel For years travelers have been religiously following the advice of Condé Nast Traveler’s Wendy Perrin.  In this post, I get my longtime friend to dish about how her print job keeps her from blogging 24/7 and what that means for PR folks.

Another Jamie Beck captured moment

#6 40, Love: Tattoo Police I’m an exhibitionist at heart, so I take every chance to show off my tattoos—even on the blog.  According to Google, many people are worried about being “booked” in this tattoo database.

#7 Alphabet City’s: One Night in Bangkok Okay, I’ll admit that I was pandering to my readers with, shall we say, more prurient interests by posting this scandalous excerpt from Alphabet City about a gay sex palace in Bangkok.  But it has one of my favorite comic lines, ever.

#8 Green Globe Trekker: Blue Bahama Mama Thankfully, my readers have rather diverse tastes—especially for eco-travel.  In advance of my panel at Condé Nast Traveler’s World Savers Congress in Singapore, I get the green scoop on The Atlantis.

#9 Kitchen Knightmares: Something Fishy Moroccan Halibut and Carrots from a Bon Appétit recipe is the star of this post—the top viewed recipe related story.

#10 Alphabet City’s Alpha-Beltway This entry is the most-read post related to the Alphabet City Book Tour. While in DC, I get an insider perspective courtesy of old friends, have nauseating John Boehner sighting, and wonder what happened to my favorite Rosalynn Carter outfit.

#11(tie) Tex and the City: Lela & BA Café MSNBC’s Thomas Roberts makes a guest appearance in this post, sharing a picture of his taxi driver’s name Ram Amandeep.  Read it aloud.  That name has become the #2 Google search directing traffic my way.  The first?  “Glee Blaine.”  There’s a joke there, but for now, I’m going to refrain.


40, Love: Virgin Queen My first time with a woman—first time getting a tattoo, of course.  Next to sex, tattoos sells.  I guess they are related in a way.

#13 Kitchen Knightmares: Kiss My Grits After meeting Chef Marcus Samuelsson at a Kraft-sponsored event, I’ll admit developing a little crush.  Will his next restaurant be in Washington Heights?

#14(tie) Alphabet City’s Even Jesus Had a Publicist A rejection from a literary agent who thinks the general public won’t know what a “publicist” does provides an opportunity to excerpt from Alphabet City.


Alphabet City’s Episode 4: Tyra, And Nothing But the Truth Before she was America’s next top media mogul, she was grazing the breakfast buffet and quizzing me about my sexuality.

#16 Alphabet City’s First Excerpt from Episode 13: Happy Soul The online encounter that changed my life.

#17 40, Love: Justice Jo(h)n Paul Unearthing a letter from his father’s papers, I pay tribute to Supreme Court Justice John Paul.

#18 Alphabet City’s First Excerpt from Episode 14: And Baby Makes Three A heartbreaking farewell to a special cast member.  Pet lovers won’t be able to read without crying.

Outside Hanoi's Golden Cock

#19 Green Globe Trekker: iPho Vietnam—Motorbikes & Golden Cock While I’d like to think it’s my lovely description of Viet Nam that makes this post a standout, I believe the name of Hanoi’s gay bar is what calls out to many in their Google searches.

#20(tie) 40, Love: Share, and Cher alike AND Kitchen Knightmares: The Premiere The launch of my cooking show with a nightmare of rancid pork is as compelling to readers as my fighting with neighbors and their kids at the local CSA food pick-up spot.

#22 Tex and the City: The Parent Trap Confronting the question of “are you guys going to have kids?,” I turn to theater reviews for help.

#23 Green Globe Trekker: Costa Rican Eco-Luxe Many of the travel industry’s most pressing sustainability questions have been answered by the Costa Rican trendsetting company Cayuga Sustainable Hospitality.

Jicaro property

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Trophy Whore

Reading up on fellow nominees

Today on Alphabet City: Jon Paul has flashbacks of high school debate at a medal ceremony for his memoir.

Over the years, my love affair with golden booty has gotten me into some sticky situations.  I couldn’t keep myself from fingering Whoopi’s Oscar in an episode out of I Love Lucy Alphabet City.  Then there was the time in high school in 1986 when as a visiting young competitive soul I won some loot at the Bronx High School of Science Debate Tournament.  Smart in the classroom but dumb on the streets, I made the questionable decision to ride the 1-train at 1-am and promptly passed out from exhaustion.  I was roused by a conductor somewhere in Brooklyn sans silver platters but at least with my life in tact.

The day before the end of senior year Spring Break at my fancy Dallas prep Greenhill School, some hooligans burned down the high school.  Every kid’s fantasy comes true?  Not mine.  My best friend Valerie and I ignored the yellow tape marking off the crime scene and waded into the still hot rubble where the debate trophy case had once stood.  I fished out some charred remains that I carried with me for years—imagining one day I would triumphantly return them to my alma mater in a special ceremony.  But when I packed up the Alphabet City set for the move to Washington Heights, I finally let go of the sad looking melted platter and goblet—burned beyond all recognition.  It was time to make room for some new accomplishments.

It’s been a long time since I’ve participated in any type of medal ceremony making last night’s 2010 Next Generation Indie Book Awards reception a real treat.  The setting at The Plaza’s Rose Club was a little more fancy than dingy school auditoriums of yesteryear.  Surprisingly, my competitive streak was a little bit tamer.  25 years ago, I remember seething with envy when my nemesis from St. Mark’s bested me in earning a speaking award.  But last night, it was just an honor to be nominated alongside diverse titles like American Idle: A Journey Through Our Sedentary Culture and A Student’s Guide to Being Happy in Argentina.  There was a sense in the room that we all know how hard it is to follow a dream and be an independent author—one of 764,448 “non-traditionally” published last year.  That it’s more important to stick together and be supportive, than divisive and competitive.  And it was lovely to hear those sentiments echoed by literary agent Marilyn Allen of the Allen O’Shea Literary Agency, who spoke of what a delight it is to work with hardworking indie authors.

Truthfully, on the way to the photo-op, I did bump some elbows and push aside a few folks on my way to get my medal—at the end of the day I’m a trophy whore.


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Reviews Are In!

Back in PageSix!

Today on Alphabet City: Jon Paul solicits criticism from his fans.

The reviews are in!  Well, not yet, actually.  That’s where you come in.  Alphabet City: My So-Called Sitcom Life is recruiting “citizen book critics” to post some comments on Lulu and Amazon.  Head on over to those sites and tell the world your thoughts on my journey.  Was there a moment that made you laugh?  Cry?  Something you wish I’d done more of?  Less?  (Semi-unrelated sidebar: currently at #4 on Amazon’s Hot New Release-Gay Memoir list–just above Rita Mae Brown?!)

Email me a link to your post or a copy of your tasty morsel from now through March 17 at nycbucky@gmail.com, and as a thank-you several chosen budding book reviewers will receive Alphabet City ephemera.  Maybe a Mary Tyler Moore DVD.  Or a Tyra “InsideOut” book (unsigned).  Sorry, no Whoopi Oscar available (currently).

And don’t worry.  I can take your criticism.  After the storm of controversy surrounding the Tyra’s Olestra intolerance, I’m pretty hardened.  In the midst of the craziness, Jamie at FromMe-ToYou.Tumblr.com reminded me what Andy Warhol said,

Don’t pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches.

Words to live by, in so many situations.  My ruler is standing by, ready for action.

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Bold Face Name (Again)

Today on Alphabet City: Jon Paul lands in PageSix gossip column (again) thanks to revelations about a supermodel.  Guest star: Tyra Banks (sort of).

Readers of Alphabet City: My So-Called Sitcom life might remember that in Episode 4 the famous gossip columnist Richard Johnson gave me a break when I was a struggling junior publicist for Liza.

Back in PageSix!

Then years later, in Episode 11, I became a bold face name myself in PageSix after an incident involving model Mark Vanderloo at Condé Nast Traveler’s first Hot List party.  Well today, thanks again to Richard and another supermodel media mogul Tyra Banks, I have been re-confirmed as gossip column worthy.  At least this time, I really didn’t have to say anything snarky.  From today’s New York Post PageSix:

Teddy Terrors

Jon Paul Buchmeyer learned plenty from Tyra Banks when he worked as her publicist during her book tour for “Inside Out.” “Chips with the fat substitute Olestra cause Tyra to have intestinal distress,” he writes in his memoir, “Alphabet City,” which chronicled his years working for Whoopi Goldberg, Vanessa Williams and Condé Nast Traveler. Buchmeyer also learned, “Tyra thinks white limos are tacky,” and to beware of fans who bring teddy bears to book signings — “Anyone that showed up at a book signing offering a stuffed animal probably needs a security escort.”

Oh, FYI—today is the last day to help me win the contest by ordering the book…click button at right and use WINTERBOOK code for 10% off!

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Sex in the City

Today on Alphabet City:  Jon Paul makes a pass at a pop-star’s husband. Guest stars: Gloria Estefan, Teri Hatcher.

Thank God for Publicists.  PR professionals enjoyed Even Jesus Had a Publicist enough to catapult that post’s popularity ahead of the two sex-related stories One Night in Bangkok and Hello, Meat Grindr.  Until then, I was beginning to think that only the most prurient details of my life might be enticing to readers.

As a relative newbie to the blogosphere, I wasn’t aware of how much global traffic would be driven to a relatively innocent story about a gay bathhouse in Bangkok.  Hopefully, the readers from Taiwan, Bangladesh, Mumbai, Russia and the Middle East who found Alphabet City by googling “Bangkok massage” enjoyed some of the tamer episodes.

It’s not just the Internet where sex seems to be a connector.  Live sex tales seem to be popular as well as I discovered on Thursday night when I headed back to one of The Moth’s storytelling nights.  Having learned from my disappointing experience in Like Moths to a Flame, this time my friend Shannon and I stood in line outside SoHo’s Housing Works Bookstore & Café starting at 6pm for doors that opened at 7pm.  Theme of the night was “Lost”—and I don’t mean the TV show.  The host of the night, author Dan Kennedy, began the show by saying, “I don’t know why we bother to give the night a theme, because somehow you will turn it into a story about sex.”

And 4 out of 5 storytellers agreed—the first ones up all related their tales to something sexual.  First up was a guy who lusted after his friend’s girlfriend, followed by the guy who last week nearly caused a riot outside Nuyorican Poets Café with his vigilante storytelling.  He spun a tale of unrequited love/sex in the aisles of a Virginia Food Lion.  Then there was a zany story of a religious cult leader deflowering the storyteller when she was 14.  Although intriguing, her tale was much longer than required 5 minutes and at one point included the line “to make a long story short…”  Isn’t that generally the point of time limits and editing?  And I’m still not sure what to make of the nut case whose story included a long riff on the power of being a virus in the Matrix (originality?), and a ski trip to Aspen with a cougar girlfriend whom he volunteers to have sex with an actor/author with whom I was not familiar.  He ended with a lecture about how friends hold you back.  In this case, I wish they had.

While the night was odd, I’m glad I went because now I have a clear strategy.  The next Moth StorySlam theme is “Nerve,” and I was thinking about telling the Whoopi Goldberg Oscar story—I had the “nerve” to pick it up.  But now I’m rethinking.  Maybe a story with a little bit of a sexual angle—like the time I had the nerve to make a pass at Gloria Estefan’s husband while escorting Teri Hatcher to VH-1’s Divas LiveCLICK HERE to enjoy this excerpt from Alphabet City’s Episode 6: Sex in the City and let me know what you think.


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Tyra Wins!

In honor of Election Day, I’m announcing the results of the first Alphabet City poll.  You voted for the next chapter you wanted to read—and the episode featuring Tyra Banks won in a landslide with 50% of the ballots cast.  So enjoy Episode 4: And Nothing But the Truth which in addition to the supermodel-cum-media-mogul includes my first run-in with PageSix courtesy of Liza Minnelli and an introduction to photo shoots courtesy of Cameron Diaz.

Make sure to read Episode 1 with Whoopi for a little background.  Here’s what happens in between:

* Episode 2—Jon Paul does battle with demons in Texas and then later with Japanese Power Rangers in New York, ultimately winning a fabulous Big Apple apartment

* Episode 3—Jon Paul’s work for a famous NYC Billionaire with food issues lands him a “date” with a guy named “Greasy” who owns an entertainment PR firm.  Jon Paul ends up with a job in celebrity publicity—something for which he has no background or training.

Cue Episode 4: And Nothing But the Truth.

Congrats Tyra on your electoral victory.  I hear Hilary Clinton is looking for some help in the Mid-East and Afghanistan.

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My So-Called Sitcom Life

From Blog to Book, Alphabet City is now available for purchase in print or e-book form.  Support a hilarious emerging voice!

Moving from Dallas to Manhattan in his late 20s, Jon Paul Buchmeyer fancied himself a gay Mary Tyler Moore starring in a sitcom of his life that he called Alphabet City.  In this humorous entertainment industry memoir, a series of publicity jobs created madcap storylines, including a mishap with Whoopi Goldberg’s Oscar, a mistaken identity as Tyra Banks’ Turkish boy-toy, and finishing school lessons in the gossipy halls of Condé Nast.  But unlike snarky tell-alls, Alphabet City: My So-Called Sitcom Life maintains a Texas-sized optimistic spirit about life in the Big Apple, with guest appearances from Cameron Diaz, Gloria Estefan, Teri Hatcher, Derek Jeter, Ashley Judd, Rosie O’Donnell, Graham Norton, and Vanessa Williams.  Following Jon Paul’s journey from naive Southerner to wizened New Yorker, Alphabet City combines the glamour of Sex and the City with the warmth of Tales of the City, and has a broad appeal tapping into America’s fascination with the world of celebrities.  In the end, just like Mary, Jon Paul discovers he’s going to make it after all.

Instead of chapters, Alphabet City has “episodes”—just like a sitcom, many of which have been previewed on this blog.  Sample some of my favorite chapters:

Episode 1: It Is Heavy — my hilarious antics with Whoopi’s Oscar.

Episode 4: And Nothing But the Truth — Tyra’s debut as a guest star in my sitcom life

Episode 11: Bold Faced Names — go behind-the-scenes at publishing giant Condé Nast.

Episode 13: Happy Soul — meeting my boyfriend on Gay.com thanks to a clever screen name!

Like what you read?  Please help out an emerging voice by purchasing the book in print or e-book form, by clicking the links to the right.  Because I am publishing independently, a majority of your dollars goes to support me directly.  Also consider signing up for my direct blog feed or following me on twitter.

For more behind-the-scenes photos and exclusive video, explore the links below.

Episodes 1-9: The Celebrity Years including links to excerpts about Whoopi, Tyra, Teri Hatcher and Gloria Estefan!

Episodes 10-17: The Condé Years including links to excerpts about Boy George and Graham Norton.


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